5 things that make difficult conversations easier!

‘I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow.’ Sam Levenson

Leaders have so many competing priorities that making time to have that difficult or confronting conversation can keep getting pushed down the list.

1. Regularity

Research shows that having regular, scheduled meetings increases employee engagement and productivity. Increased opportunity for communication means more collaboration, and ultimately more accountability. Read, better results and happier and more productive employees!

Regular calendar invites – same day, same time, same frequency. Do not bump this meeting! This increases confidence in the process (and you!).

2. Brevity

Short. It should not be arduous.

3. Structure

Have a handful of key questions that are addressed every meeting. You could try these on for size:

• What are your priorities?

• What do you need assistance with?

• What is going well?

• How are you going personally?

• What do you need from me as your leader?

Provide space to share information and two-way feedback. This will foster confidence in the process and encourages open communication which is key for embedding open communication in your culture.

4. Timing

A bit like weeds in a garden, minor concerns typically grow the longer they are left unattended. When you see something that doesn’t seem quite right take action to avoid more work and effort in the long run. Yes WKYK.

Unlike a regular catch up, some conversations don’t have to be scheduled. A genuine, impromptu, taking the employee aside and asking “Are you OK? / What’s going on?” or “Hey, I’ve noticed you haven’t hit your targets for the last week, is something going on? / You don’t seem yourself lately, is everything OK?” can be enough to get the employee talking and uncover any issues. Have this type of conversation face to face if possible.

When the conversation is had sooner rather than later and the employee feels heard, there is actually less emotion as there has been less time for their emotions to run wild – win!

Best practice is to address performance and conduct concerns before they escalate. Putting off giving feedback or checking in on an employee you know is not themselves, is only kicking the can down the road.

5. Outcome

The final point is to focus on why there is a concern and what outcome you are looking for. Ensure you allow them time to speak, and then outline how you can work through to a solution.

Remember, key points to ensure a successful conversation are:

• Approach the employee with an open mind and empathy

• Encourage an open dialogue by using open questions

• State facts and avoid generalising

• Ensure it is in private, and preferably face to face

• Be clear and specific on why you have asked to have this conversation

• Be solution focussed with a clear outcome in mind

• Take notes

• Give key takeaways

• Let them know when you will next check in with them

A common misconception is that having these conversations means you are micromanaging.

The definition of micromanaging is:

‘To control every part, however small’ (Oxford English Dictionary).

The role of a leader is not to control every part, but it is to keep performance and conduct in line with business expectations. By having the conversation on the spot, you avoid anxiety for everyone – it really may not be as bad as you think!

Once you start to make this part of your team culture the anxiety around them for both you and your team will reduce. They will expect that if they are not upholding the business expectations that this will be brought to their attention, so in turn are more prone to keep seeking out your expectations and achieving them.

If the trust between you and your team increases so will your business outcomes!

Nicolette Cavit

Consultant, Streamline HR